Nearly a month after the tragic suicide of a fan outside her Los Angeles home, “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul has still not recovered from the shock and plans to move out of the house.

Paula Abdul was not at her Los Angeles home in mid-November when police discovered the lifeless body of 30-year-old Paula Goodspeed in her vehicle, parked close by. Producers of “American idol” were informed shortly of the discovery but Abdul was spared the news until after the team had finished work for the day. Upon learning of the former “American Idol” contestant’s death, Abdul released a statement, saying she was “deeply shocked and saddened.”

Three weeks later, the shock has not subdued much for the singer and dancer. She revealed to People magazine that ever since the tragic incident, she has been living in hotels and different homes, not able to sleep at her erstwhile home. Furthermore, she plans to put the house up for sale and find a new residence. Abdul, who now always has security guards with her, said Goodspeed’s death was “heartbreaking.”

The 30-year-old woman appeared on “American Idol” during the show’s fifth season. In an interview with host Ryan Seacrest before auditioning, Goodspeed said she greatly admired judge Paula Abdul. She recounted how she started drawing as a little girl and how Abdul was her muse. She showed viewers life-size drawings of Abdul.

Her subsequent performance of “Proud Mary” did not impress the judges at the time and she was rejected.

Although Goodspeed never returned on “American Idol,” her admiration for the “Rush, Rush” singer did not mollify and she apparently attempted to stay close to her idol. Los Angeles police Capt. James Miller told People at the time of the incident that Goodspeed had been causing “disturbance” at Abdul’s house for years

The car Goodspeed was found in had a vanity license plate reading “ABL LV” and had a photo of Abdul hanging from the rearview mirror.

Abdul says she would “love” to reveal more details about Goodspeed’s fascination with her but cannot as a police investigation is ongoing and she has been asked to maintain discretion.

Goodspeed’s death has been ruled an apparent suicide, from a drug overdose.

Believe it or not, she is not Abdul’s first experience with overzealous fans. A decade and a half ago, the star received worryingly periodical letters from a “gentleman” who was in prison and counting the days to his release, when he could visit Abdul. She was touring at the time and the man eventually got in even more serious legal trouble so now he is serving a life sentence.

He was a fan of Abdul portraits as well and had tattoos of the singer-actress all over his body, she said.