“My Bloody Valentine 3D,” directed by Patrick Lurrier, is a remake of a 1981 Canadian horror picture which gone into obscurity for all kinds of viewers except for cultists.
The movie which was released on the 16th of January by Lionsgate caught a great deal of attention thanks to its relentless and perhaps too obvious amounts of blood, body parts and viscera shown with humor and technical skill by the 3-D effects that come fast and furious.
The plot resembles closely to the original and it begins with a prologue telling the story of Tom Hanniger, a coal miner in the ironically named town of Harmony who murdered his fellow miners after accidentally caused a tunnel collapse that killed five of them and put a sixth, Harry Warden (Rich Walters), into a deep coma. Waking up a year later after the accident, he starts hacking up doctors, nurses and other slow-moving folks into raw, gooey chunks before he gets shot dead in the end by the local sheriff (Tom Atkins).
10 years later, when Tom, the young miner responsible for the accident, embodied by Jensen Ackless who also starred in “Smallville” and “Supernatural,” returns to Harmony, he soon finds himself caught up in tensions between his old girlfriend Sarah, played by Jaime King, who is now married to the town’s sheriff and his childhood best friend Axel, embodied by Kerr Smith.
At the same time, Harry, wearing his miner's uniform and gas mask, returns to efficiently turning people into a series of victims by pick-axing them, ripping their hearts out and sending them in heart-shaped boxes meant for Valentine's Day candy.
The plot staggers from absurd to ridiculous. A chase through the supermarket is pretty tense, and a few of the fights have nerve, while most of the film people just run. Actually, the real acting comes due to veteran character actors Kevin Tighe and Tom Atkins, who provide throughout their presence a comforting liaison to horror films past.
Supporting actress Betsy Rue deserves to be especially mentioned for treating the target male audience with one of the longest and most gratuitous full-frontal nude scenes in the history of horror films. By providing the cheap thrills, Rue gives her all and also shows her all embodying the Irene character doing her magic in a sleazy showdown that begins with unbridled sex in a hotel room. Her partner in the scene is co-screenwriter Todd Farmer, whose wife agreed to let her husband get naked in front of the camera, situation for which she has won everyone’s appreciation (especially her husband’s).
Unfortunately, the movie does not give viewers enough time to become familiar with any character because death interferes very shortly. It seems that this kind of horror movie has never aimed great acting, serious storytelling or even an interesting plot. Movies relied on such things are successful only if the violence provokes both fear and laughter at the same time.
