It was merely a few days ago that we first learned from a sure source that Madonna and Guy Ritchie were divorcing – from the couple itself, and now it is being reported that the two have already reached a divorce settlement.

British paper The Sun is reporting that Madonna and Guy Ritchie have already efficiently put an end to their almost eight-year marriage by reaching a divorce settlement. The music superstar and bona fide super businesswoman has amassed over the course of her career a fortune worth an estimated $500 million and it appears it will largely remain her own.

According to The Sun, Guy Ritchie walks away from the marriage with the couple’s pub, their country estate and $60 million. Just a small slice of Madonna’s grand macrobiotic nondairy super healthy chocolate cake.

Yes, the typical nastiness around a celebrity divorce is already surfacing. Madonna is reported to have enlisted the professional assistance of Fiona Shackleton, the British lawyer who represented Paul McCartney in his $60 million divorce from former model Heather Mills.

The singer’s legal team is allegedly putting together a dossier of wrongdoings on Guy Ritchie’s part. The 40-year-old director is reported to have verbally and emotionally abused Madonna, 50, during their marriage, undermining her self-confidence and self-esteem by telling her she looked like a “granny” next to her dancers on stage or that she could not act or that she was “past it.”

Ritchie has reportedly hired the esteemed Lady Helen Ward, famous for her success in reaching outstanding divorce settlements for her clients. As regards to Ritchie’s complaints towards his wife, he is reportedly unhappy with the strictness Madonna has ruled the household with over the past years, deciding the family’s nutritional diet, forbidding television and newspapers in the house and frustrating her husband by going to sleep lathered in $800 cream and wrapped up in plastic sheets to maintain her youth.

Oh, how the dirt is spread for the world to see.

Hours after her spokeswoman had confirmed the imminent divorce, Madonna was on the stage, warming up her audience in Boston for a two-hour performance that had her do her usual best. One noteworthy bit in her otherwise professional demeanor: dedicating one song to those emotionally retarded and commenting that she certainly knows people fitting in that category. The public was left to speculate that one particular person she had in mind was her soon-to-be ex-hubby.

The couple has three children whose fates they will now have to decide as they divorce: Lourdes, 12, from a previous relationship of the singer’s, Rocco, 8, born just a few months before Madonna and Ritchie married in December 2000, and David Banda, 3, the little Malawian orphan who has been living with the Ritchies since 2006 and whose adoption became official in May of this year.