Once upon a time, just before he put those famous “Baywatch”
swimming trunks on, a guy named David Hasselhoff used to rock small screens
while driving a talking vehicle dubbed KITT (Knight Industries Three Thousand).
The ride was quite kitschy and the car was not very loquacious (thank God).
However, almost three decades later, a chap going by the
name of Mike Traceur (Justin Bruening) decided to take the lifeguard’s place
and ride an improved, up-to-date KITT.
It’s still unclear to me why someone decided to revive
“Knight Rider” in the first place. Maybe it would have been a hit if Gary Scott
Thompson used an innovative recipe and fresh ingredients. The NBC series
premiering tonight is nonetheless as tasteless and insipid as the original and
the best it brings are some new faces and an out-of-this-world car, which,
unfortunately, has a very big mouth. A Val Kilmer mouth, actually.
Staying true to the dreadfulness of the 1980s series
starring David Hasselhoff and picking up from February’s television movie, the
rejuvenated “Knight Rider” sees hunky Mike Traceur, Michael Knight’s son
(producers had to find a connection between the two), serving as a secret agent
for an organization, in which the FBI is also involved (evidently). He owns the
best car out there, KITT, tediously voiced by Val Kilmer, which is so good and
clever, it actually doesn’t need a driver. However, as the plot requires the
presence of a strongly-built, leather-jacketed kick-ass expert, Justin Bruening
could not have been left out.
Tonight’s premiere may remind you of the wintry James
Bond-like atmosphere, but after the first couple of minutes you will get to the
unfortunate conclusion that everything is a bad joke.
An all dressed up Mike Traceur follows a woman whose
identity is not disclosed (she is called “Smokin’ Hot Beauty" in the end
credits), and has to get his hands on some kind of “package” containing God
knows what.
In the meantime, Mike’s ex and colleague Sarah Graiman,
played by Deanna Russo, is locked in the basement of a building titled “Foreign
Consulate, USA” and threatened by some weird looking people with a huge
hypodermic needle (needles may be the most thrilling and frightening things in
the entire show).
It’s KITT’s turn to enter the scene. He uses his
technology-based cleverness and knowledge to help Mike Traceur fight them all.
The rider nevertheless has to pay a price for all the advantages he benefits
from and the problem is none other than KITT’s really big mouth. “Probably you could
move faster if you ate a healthy diet, decreased your alcohol intake and
reduced the extracurricular activity with your lady friends,” the car tells its
owner. Who needs a mother-in-law in this case?
Other scenes include a lot of chasing, fast driving and
fooling around. We also meet the rest of the crew: boss Alex Torres (Yancey
Arias), Billy Morgan (Paul Campbell), Carrie Rivai (Sydney Tamiia Poitier) and
Sarah’s dad, Charles Graiman (Bruce Davison).
Tonight’s “Knight Rider” episode fails to be thrilling.
However, it succeeds in being ludicrous (although it’s not meant to be a
comedy) with all its nonsensical silliness. You may want to catch a glimpse of
the new series, just to see how bad it is.
