Berlin - Families grow from one generation to the next and frequently pass some problems along in the process.

Grandma's eating disorder can be noticed in one of the grandchildren, fears or compulsions, inclinations toward addictions or depression - and often such individual problems become family problems.

Whether inherited from a distant relative, passed down directly or passively brought out, the traits that grip some families can hardly be comprehended by the those affected. A family therapist can provide help and information about such unknown hereditary processes.

Bulimia, panic attacks, addition to alcohol or violent personalities are some of the difficulties that families face together.

"A consultation with a family therapist is advisable when a family member exhibits peculiarities over a long period of time that disturb the entire family," said Martin Merbach, psychologist with a Lutheran church-affiliated institute for family counselling in Berlin.

Unfortunately, inhibitions raise the threshold to a very high level in many families with psychological problems and in stressful situations. This is especially true when parents take ill, said Merbach.

"If the children are affected by attention deficit or hyperactivity disorder, for example, families seek counselling much quicker," he said. One reason for the resistance to counselling often is false shame.

"In most such cases family therapy is the best medicine for everyone involved," said professor Guenther Reich, psychotherapist at the university of Goettingen. "The healing takes place in the framework of the relationships surrounding the affected person," said Reich. It's not just a question of who is "guilty" of causing the psychologically stressful situation, rather what personal links and circumstances have led to it.

There are many advantages for the family that seeks therapy: The sufferer finally gets help and the other family members get support and answers to their multiple questions about appropriate behaviour.

"The therapist can grasp the roles and positions within a family faster, if he can work with all members of the family," said Merbach.

"When put into the context of a relationship, things that have been tied in knots can more easily be undone, and rigid communication methods and taboos can be relaxed," said Reich. This is supported by a long-time study conducted by a German family therapy organization in 2006.

"Family therapy is effective, low-cost and particularly effective in sustainability," the study said. Controlled checks of families four years after they completed therapy showed that the treatment had a more successful effect than other psychotherapeutic processes.

"One for all and all for one" is the motto, and whether the entire family has to attend weekly therapy sessions is decided on a case-by-case basis. Sometimes it makes sense to first observe an individual before bringing everyone together, the study said. If a family member does not want to go to therapy, the other family members should nicely explain how important his support is.

"Demonstrate how much you want the help and support," Reich advises. If there's still resistance to participating, the other family members should accept it. "Therapy can be carried out with only part of the family present," said Merbach.